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If Microsoft were Jewish:
1. Your PC would shut down automatically on Friday evenings.
2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go. I'm not getting any younger." button.
3. RETRY would be replaced with "You vant I should try again?"
4. When disconnecting external devices from your PC, instructions would say "Remove from your PC's tuchis the cable ".
5. Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.".
6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
7. SCANDISK prompts you with, "You vant I should fix?" message.
8. When your PC is mult-tasking, you would occasionally hear an "Oy Gevult."
9. Manischewitz would advertise that its "monitor cleaning solution" gets rid of the "schmutz" on your screen.
10. After 20 minutes in an idle state, your PC would go "Schloffen."
11. All computer viruses would be cured with chicken soup.
12. After your computer dies, you would have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
13. Internet Explorer would have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
14. A screen saver for channukah will be "Flying Draidles".
15. High capacity DVB's (digital video bagels) would supercede CD-ROM's


"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

from what i see, most of the time when the student visa expires and they're back home and there's no mcdonalds, no jim beam, no free sex, no jlo, no prozac, they get real depressed and i guess thats that...

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>

14. A screen saver for channukah will be "Flying Draidles".

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI
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Wonder how some of the Ultra Orthodox would feel about a screen saver of The Dradle Song, from the South Park Xmas episode? <img src=icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Visualise world liberty. You leave me alone I leave you alone but if anyone messes with either of us we team up & kill them"

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two jewish mothers meet in a market.
"myrna, how is your daughter?"
"wonderful, her husband is so nice, just bought her a beautiful mercedes, they live in a huge house in Great Neck, she just got a beautiful diamond necklace to wear at the club, and her gave her a marvelous fur coat for their anniversary!"
"you should be so happy! and what about your son, arthur?"
"life is not so good, he works like a dog, his wife always wants something from him- furs, diamonds, a big house, fancy vacations..."

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>No pork BBQ, No hot dogs<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Just read that Jews aren't too big on pork either. <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>No gumbo<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> I think thats only shying away from the fearsome Habenero pepper.

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Sometimes. If it's done by the right voice, the call to prayer is better than anything on the Radio.
Show of hands. An Arab that has a good voice doing the call to Prayer. Or Christina Auguilera?

"Visualise world liberty. You leave me alone I leave you alone but if anyone messes with either of us we team up & kill them"

_________________

Don't forget the game in Afghanistan that involves a bunch of crazed guys on horses fighting over a dead goat. "DEAD GOAT FOOTBALL"! Woohoo! LOL.

"When you put your hand into a bunch of goo, that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do."-George S. Patton, Jr.

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Don't forget the game in Afghanistan that involves a bunch of crazed guys on horses fighting over a dead goat. "DEAD GOAT FOOTBALL"! Woohoo! LOL.

"When you put your hand into a bunch of goo, that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do."-George S. Patton, Jr.
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

That was one of the first things the Taliban outlawed. Now that was just sissy boy of them to do.

"Visualise world liberty. You leave me alone I leave you alone but if anyone messes with either of us we team up & kill them"



Edited by - Lunatock on Jul 07 2003 11:31 AM

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An open question to anyone reading this. Pennsylvanian gun owners might appreciate it the most though:

Who's worse: Chechans armed to the teeth? Or Ed Rendell & his gun control gang?



"Visualise world liberty. You leave me alone I leave you alone but if anyone messes with either of us we team up & kill them"

_________________

Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza strip chatting over a pint of goats
milk .

One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they
start reminiscing .

"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr."

"Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!"

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says, "They
blow up so fast, don't they?"




"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

Rendell is a little boy molesting punk.

"Trample the wounded, hurdle the dead."

Come on Sniper tell us how you really feel...

Overkill??? I'd kill a fly with a howitzer if I had one.

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\"One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up\"

Sorry, that kind of language is prohibited here, so i had to be nice.

"Trample the wounded, hurdle the dead."