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Can't wait to see the WT creativity with this!

http://subintsoc.net/madlib.php

"Live every day like it's the last, 'cause one day you're gonna be right!" Ray Charles (6/10/04 was the day)

_________________
\"Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.\"
- Thomas Jefferson

From the Office of the Homeland Security Director
Big Thug
Aug 9, 2004

I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's Ron Jeremy to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of Las Vegas. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since Debbie does Dallas. We've been in frequent communication with the Ron Jeremy and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.

Over the last several days, our Office of Boogie Nights and Block Buster Video have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving Videos &DVD's of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in Las Vegas or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of Videos &DVD's are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since Debbie does Dallas.


During his address on homeland security, hajji bin spanking promised the people of Las Vegas that when we have evidence of credible Videos &DVD's we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.

hajji bin spanking also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be glowing, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop porn stars.

Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the Milf hunters is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all Relief Society across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All Relief Society have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the Milf hunters of any unusual or suspicious activity.

The Videos &DVD's we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a Cornhole, or a Double penetration, or even a colan punching. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring islamic hoe a don and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when porn stars have planned attacks in the past.

One example is December of 1999. Authorities in Las Meccas, Afdirtistan and Islamapud uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to Free ejaculation of palestine. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected porn stars.

Now, obviously, the further removed we get from Debbie does Dallas, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.

We are a nation at war. We are the targets of porn stars who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent dildoes. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of Las Vegas to remind them that they must be glowing as well.

I also know the very first question the people of Las Vegas will ask -- "So, Big Thug, besides being glowing, what else should my family and I do?"

The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your Ron Jeremy and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of hajji bin spanking who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the porn stars.

"The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies, to chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth, to see their near and dear bathed in tears, to ride their horses and sleep on the white bellies of their wives and daughters."
-Genghis Khan

_________________
\"A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week. \"

George S. Patton

From the Office of the Homeland Security Director
Hue Heffner
Aug 9, 2004

I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's twitch-mongers to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of Fantasy Island. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since the Whitman Massacre. We've been in frequent communication with the twitch-mongers and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.

Over the last several days, our BATF and EPA have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving Mardi Gras flashing of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in Fantasy Island or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of Mardi Gras flashing are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since the Whitman Massacre.


During his address on homeland security, Slick Willy promised the people of Fantasy Island that when we have evidence of credible Mardi Gras flashing we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.

Slick Willy also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be snipahorny, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop liberals.

Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the X-Men is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all Committies of Teen Checkers across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All Committies of Teen Checkers have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the X-Men of any unusual or suspicious activity.

The Mardi Gras flashing we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a ankle biting, or a name dropping, or even a nose tweaking. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring Guy Faulck's Day and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when liberals have planned attacks in the past.
Share your Terror Alert
with the world!

One example is December of 1999. Authorities in Thracia, Cilan and Gwandwanaland uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to the Whitman Massacre. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected liberals.

Now, obviously, the further removed we get from the Whitman Massacre, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.

We are a nation at war. We are the targets of liberals who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent earth muffins. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of Fantasy Island to remind them that they must be snipahorny as well.

I also know the very first question the people of Fantasy Island will ask -- "So, Hue Heffner, besides being snipahorny, what else should my family and I do?"

The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your twitch-mongers and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of Slick Willy who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the liberals.

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YOUR SELECTED ALERT LEVEL: Red

"Severe Condition (Red). A Severe Condition reflects a severe risk of terrorist attacks. Under most circumstances, the Protective Measures for a Severe Condition are not intended to be sustained for substantial periods of time."


Livin' life in the fast lane and just passed a blur reading "BRIDGE OUT!"

From the Office of the Homeland Security Director
Ben Dover
Aug 9, 2004

I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's Big Giant Heads to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of Terabithia. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since The Beheading of King Edwards' Third Wife. We've been in frequent communication with the Big Giant Heads and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.

Over the last several days, our National Association of Bottlenecks and Giant Boob Association have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving Smoke signals of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in Terabithia or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of Smoke signals are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since The Beheading of King Edwards' Third Wife.


During his address on homeland security, Zoro promised the people of Terabithia that when we have evidence of credible Smoke signals we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.

Zoro also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be Crochety, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop Yunguns.

Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the United States Air Force is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all Local Torture Lodges across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All Local Torture Lodges have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the United States Air Force of any unusual or suspicious activity.

The Smoke signals we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a Bludgeon, or a Maim, or even a Decapitation. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring Kwanzaa and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when Yunguns have planned attacks in the past.

One example is December of 1999. Authorities in Israel, USA and Taiwan uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to Dice-Man's Birthday, in 1756 A.D. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected Yunguns.

Now, obviously, the further removed we get from The Beheading of King Edwards' Third Wife, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.

We are a nation at war. We are the targets of Yunguns who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent Orangutangs. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of Terabithia to remind them that they must be Crochety as well.

I also know the very first question the people of Terabithia will ask -- "So, Ben Dover, besides being Crochety, what else should my family and I do?"

The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your Big Giant Heads and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of Zoro who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the Yunguns.


"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>Knew I could count on you guys to jump on this one!<img src=newicons/bounce.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Live every day like it's the last, 'cause one day you're gonna be right!" Ray Charles (6/10/04 was the day)

_________________
\"Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.\"
- Thomas Jefferson

Forgive me if the phrases are a little bit off. But this is based on knowledge of, and various encounters people have had with the Pennsylvania Dutch. (Best one I've heard would be a buggy that wouldn't let a car pass, then when it finally passed by the bad exaust system hit them). <img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle>

From the Office of the Homeland Security Director
Amos
Aug 9, 2004

I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's The Mennonite Pastor to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of Pa. Dutch Country. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since Last Weeks Barn Raising. We've been in frequent communication with the The Mennonite Pastor and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.

Over the last several days, our Pa Game Wardens and US Postal Service have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving Annual Picnic of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in Pa. Dutch Country or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of Annual Picnic are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since Last Weeks Barn Raising.


During his address on homeland security, Local Pastor promised the people of Pa. Dutch Country that when we have evidence of credible Annual Picnic we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.

Local Pastor also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be too high-tech, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop City Slickers.

Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the Occasional Policeman is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all Crafts & Quilts Store across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All Crafts & Quilts Store have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the Occasional Policeman of any unusual or suspicious activity.

The Annual Picnic we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a Vandalism, or a Motorcycles Ruining The Roads, or even a bad transmissions on cars. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring Christmas and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when City Slickers have planned attacks in the past.
Share your Terror Alert
with the world!

Create Your Own Terror
Warning T-Shirts
------------------------
Available now in our
AGITPROP section!

One example is December of 1999. Authorities in America, England and Them Afghaners uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to Horse & Buggy Races every Sunday. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected City Slickers.

Now, obviously, the further removed we get from Last Weeks Barn Raising, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.

We are a nation at war. We are the targets of City Slickers who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent The Livestock. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of Pa. Dutch Country to remind them that they must be too high-tech as well.

I also know the very first question the people of Pa. Dutch Country will ask -- "So, Amos , besides being too high-tech, what else should my family and I do?"

The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your The Mennonite Pastor and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of Local Pastor who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the City Slickers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


YOUR SELECTED ALERT LEVEL: Orange

"High Condition (Orange). A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of terrorist attacks."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Is that a Ninos sub? Right on...those are some good subs. Not as good as ours of course, but still good." -Subway employee.

_________________

From the Office of the Homeland Security Director
Sparticus
Aug 9, 2004

I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's Dog catchers to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of East Overshoe Neb.. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since Krystal Nacht. We've been in frequent communication with the Dog catchers and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.

Over the last several days, our CIA and USDA have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving smoke signals of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in East Overshoe Neb. or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of smoke signals are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since Krystal Nacht.


During his address on homeland security, Pol Pot promised the people of East Overshoe Neb. that when we have evidence of credible smoke signals we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.

Pol Pot also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be morose, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop Democrats.

Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the Interpol is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all Planning Commisions across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All Planning Commisions have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the Interpol of any unusual or suspicious activity.

The smoke signals we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a Concho!, or a Eye Poke, or even a nuggie. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring Kwanzaa and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when Democrats have planned attacks in the past.
Share your Terror Alert
with the world!

Create Your Own Terror
Warning T-Shirts
------------------------
Available now in our
AGITPROP section!

One example is December of 1999. Authorities in Canada, Bulgaria and Latvia uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to Superbowl 1. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected Democrats.

Now, obviously, the further removed we get from Krystal Nacht, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.

We are a nation at war. We are the targets of Democrats who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent Buffaloes. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of East Overshoe Neb. to remind them that they must be morose as well.

I also know the very first question the people of East Overshoe Neb. will ask -- "So, Sparticus, besides being morose, what else should my family and I do?"

The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your Dog catchers and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of Pol Pot who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the Democrats.



"Insert trite message here"

HAHAHHAHA

CONCHO!!

Excellent application of the Concho in modern literature!

Hows the General been?





"The power to Destroy the planet, is insignifigant to the power of the Air Force----Mudd Vader