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| Author: | 30mike-mike [ 26 May 2006, 06:38 ] |
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Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed? Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"? If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit? Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date? Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs. What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream? If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner? Why is a person who handles money called a broker? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from? If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window? The Second Amendment: America's original homeland security. Ya just can’t take life too seriously, because you aren’t going to get out of it alive anyway. |
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| Author: | jackb [ 26 May 2006, 10:01 ] |
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LOL, good ones. One more: Who was the first person to say "Hey, you see that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that come outta its butt." "They say that the only two things certain in life are death and taxes" - Benjamin Franklin *I prefer them in that order. "From my cold, dead hands!" - Charlton Heston |
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| Author: | sgtgoose1 [ 26 May 2006, 21:02 ] |
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Why when you put big wheels on the back of your car and small ones on the front your car doesnt move by its self? Goose They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin, (1706 - 1790) |
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| Author: | Hawg166 [ 26 May 2006, 22:13 ] |
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I give up Goose, why ?<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle> "By this time tomorrow I shall have gained either a peerage or Westminster Abbey !" Nelson the Immortal Memory |
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| Author: | parihaka [ 31 May 2006, 22:53 ] |
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"If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?" Yep, that's funny |
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