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40 Things You Would Love To Say Out-Loud At Work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but, I don't understand a damn word you're saying

10. Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you! We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you does not mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-ass opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a f...ing people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh, I get it. Like humor - Only different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to STUN?

38. I thought I wanted a career! It turns out, I just wanted a salary.

39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute! I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.


"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten!"

_________________
\"I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives\"

These are going up on the board at work ROFLMAO, good one RG!

Brownells calls me Aaron Burr cause the
way I'm droppin Hamilton$

_________________
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

I have actually used 3, 11, 19 and 21, in the workplace. I love it!

"Slow is Fast - Fast is Slow"

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Slow is Fast, Fast is Slow
Violence may not be the best option, but it IS an option

I recall situations where several of those would have been appropriate. I ....will....have the chance to use some of them.
Eagle

6,22,28, are the only ones I think I never used,

One to add to it is

"You know the only Differance between you and a Hemorrhoid on my ASS IS????

THE HEMORRHOID IS LESS OF A PAIN IN MY ASS AND WILL GO AWAY
AND YOU WONT!

Goose

I know now for a FACT that Truth is Stranger than Fiction and IT CAN ALWAYS BE WORST!





Edited by - sgtgoose1 on Aug 04 2006 06:02

_________________
\"Live Free Or Die\"

LOL...

I've used 1,11 & 24 word for word (I'm lucky our company is pretty un PC)

Here are a few that I particulary like to use...

"Here's 10 pence, go phone somebody who gives a f***"
"If I was half as smart as you are, I'd still be a f****** idiot"
"God made you my boss, he didn't make you right"

I've also stolen one of 30MM's and now use "Build a bridge and get over it"

You're born, you keep your head down and you die. If you're lucky...

<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> Good ones!

I still have to go with my All time favorite though

Boss ask "Why arent you a TEAM PLAYER??"

You say "Sorry! but I'm not one of the
THOSE EDUCATED ASSHOLES MIS-MANAGING " this Place "

Goose


I know now for a FACT that Truth is Stranger than Fiction and IT CAN ALWAYS BE WORST!

_________________
\"Live Free Or Die\"

I will hold #6 in scue untill I can use it safely.

"By this time tomorrow I shall have gained either a peerage or Westminster Abbey !" Nelson the Immortal Memory

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YGBSM !