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Hillary and Clinton..........


Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here.

St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one-second. St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he only told two lies his whole life, only two seconds had clicked.

Hillary asks, "Where is Bill's clock?"

St. Peter says, "Bill's clock is Jesus' office. He's using it as a fan."

lol.
"joke at Willies expense"? I thought he WAS a joke?

"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us". George Orwell

Fighting For Justice With Brains Of Steel !
<img src="http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/ac/atengun2X.GIF" border=0>

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The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

If Slick Willy was a joke, he certainly wasn't funny.

A sucking chest wound is life's way of telling you to slow down...

He was definitely in bad taste though.

"Trample the wounded...hurdle the dead"

yeah just ask Monica

"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us". George Orwell

Fighting For Justice With Brains Of Steel !
<img src="http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/ac/atengun2X.GIF" border=0>

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The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

bill clinton: the president that did it in between the bushes
<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Ahhhh... the sweet little seconds before I remember why I am sleeping on the lawn."
-Homer, The Simpsons

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\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"

LOL!

"Trample the wounded...hurdle the dead"

What should be the official name for Bill & Hillary Clinton’s New York abode? There were lots of possibilities, according to the creative audience of The Jayne Carroll Show, a political talk radio program which airs daily in the Portland, Oregon, metropolitan area.

On Friday, September 10th, Carroll asked her audience to come up
with an official name for the Clinton $1.7 million house in Chappaqua, New York. Carroll’s call-in contest required the names to be in relative good taste, original, and should capture the essence of one or both of the Clintons. The response was overwhelming! Some names nominated for the Clinton’s new home included:

Perjurers’ Palace
HillBilly Villa
The House of Bill’s Repute
Drawers Downs
Cheatem Estates
Sin Simeon
The Knee Pad
The White Trash House
The Blight House
The Panderosa Liars’ Lair
Bill & Hill’s Bribe & Breakfast
The Clinton Compost
Dogpatch on the Hudson
The Hen House
The Out House
The Love Shack
The House of Seven Felonies
Motel Sex

But the clear, hands-down winner was...

DISGRACELAND



Carpe Diem

Yeah, Disgraceland is PERFECT.

I really hated Bubba...

"Trample the wounded...hurdle the dead"

Hope you don't mind if I throw one in for Al Gore.....

THE BALLAD OF AL GORE

(Sung to “The Ballad of Jed Clampett”)

Come and listen to my story ‘bout a man named Gore
A snippy Democrat, who was really quite a bore
On election day of his Presidential bout
He thought he lost the fight but he got to recount

Ballots that is... punch cards... butterflies

Well the next thing you know they’re countin’ ‘em again
He lost a second time so he gave it all some spin
They said Palm Beach is the place you oughta be
So he hired legal experts from Tallahassee

Florida that is... Sunshine State... deadlocked

Well the next thing you know they wanna change the rules
And play around with votes cause they think we’re friggin fools
They riled lotsa folks and they made a lotta fuss
Till Cheney came along, and started kickin’ butts

Buttocks that is... liberal hineys... left-wing tookas

Al Gore whined that the system wasn’t fair
After countin’ ballot holes that weren’t even there
Kate Harris said that the recount was a joke
But that didn’t stop the liberals from tallyin’ the votes

Democrat votes that is... hangin’ chads... dimpled ballots

Well the State Supreme Court gave Gore another break
They let him count again cause their power was at stake
But just when he thought that his dream was born anew
The overseas votes gave it all to W

George W that is... Texas Governor...President-elect

Now it’s time to say good-bye to Al and all his kin
He tried to steal some votes but it didn’t help him win
You’re all invited over to his house in Tennessee
To sit around and blubber at his pity-parteeee

Nashville that is... pout a while... have some sour grapes

Ya’ll have fun now... Ya Hear!!


Nunquam Non Paratus
(Never Unprepared)

The Beverly Clintons

Well dere once was a story 'bout a man named Bill;
Da poor president couldn't keep his willie still;
Den one day he was workin' at his desk,
When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest...
Boobs, that is. Two of 'em. Bodacious ta ta's.
Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees,
Mouth open wide and as happy as you please;
Bill sez, "oh yeah now-don't say a thing,"
"If you do a good job then we'll have a little fling."

Blow job, that is. Phalli osculation.

Well, Bill lost his load and it fell upon her dress,
He said, "Clean it up, 'cuz you really are a mess,
And you're invited here to dis fine locality,
To have a heapin' helpin' of little Willie C."

Da wiener, that is. Da presidential staff.

So week after week, Monica is on her knees
Keepin' Willie and his Wiener just as happy as you please,
But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far,
And she blabbed it all to Linda Tripp who blabbed it all to
Starr.

Bad girl, that is. Cigars. Bodacious ta ta's.

Well it weren't too long till we all knew the score,
'bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door;
Da country's in da toilet and da people cry, "No More"
But if we oust da cheatin' jerk, den we gotta live with Gore.

Boob, that is. Great big one. Head stuck up his rear.

So now ya know da story 'bout Bill our president,
Wonderin' if dis fling's gonna cost him every cent;
So da moral of da story is to do it quietly,
And stay outta trouble with dat witch named Hillary.

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

LOL

"Trample the wounded...hurdle the dead"

I think I finally understood how to deal with the Mad Moderator: Just keep telling hom jokes and he can't focus on other things, such as his crosshairs.

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

Even the best sniper could be outshot by a French soldier if said sniper is laughing so hard his eyes are watering.

"You a Soldier or a Politician? By all means, let them pooch screw me. And don't care they killed a Marine. That honestly makes me wish they get a Generals blood on thier hands. Maybe then a few people will get thier heads out of thier..."

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Doesn't there first have to be such a thing as a French soldier? Even if there was such a thing, I still think the laughing, tearing sniper would win.

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

THOSE WERE GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DID YOU ALL SEE HILLARY'S INTERVIEW WITH"OLD CROW WALTERS"?
WHAT A JOKE,I GOT MOTION SICKNESS FROM ALL THE "SPINNING"

FOX DID A REVIEW AFTER IT WAS OVER,DICK MORRIS TORE HER UP!!!!!!

I HOPE YOU FOLKS IN THE SERVICE CAN RETIRE BEFORE 2008,BECAUSE I COULD JUST IMAGINE HER AT THE HELM.<img src=icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_dead.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_dead.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_dissapprove.gif border=0 align=middle>

PRESS TO TEST

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\"Live Free Or Die\"

<img src="http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/clinton_bible.jpg" border=0>