oh, also bear in mind Big Ross there are plenty "Jewish Jokes" out there as well...Just make sure you can take as good as you give buddy
If your not having fun, your not doing it right!
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| Why radical muslims kill themselves http://warthogterritory.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=3260 |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 12 Jun 2003, 08:54 ] |
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Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now........................ No Jesus, No Wal-Mart, No television, No cheerleaders, No baseball, No football, No basketball, No hockey, No golf, No tailgate parties, No Home Depot, No pork BBQ, No hot dogs, No burgers, No lobster, No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks, No gumbo, No jambalaya. Rags for clothes and towels for hats. Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower. No chocolate chip cookies. No Christmas. More than one wife. You can't shave. Your wives can't shave. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey. But your donkey has a better disposition. Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better! I mean, really, is there a mystery here? "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI Edited by - m21 sniper on Jun 14 2003 08:13 AM |
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| Author: | prkiii [ 12 Jun 2003, 09:48 ] |
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I'm not gonna touch this thread...but if anyone complains it's gone...not trying to be an a&$, and I do have a sense of humor, but this boarders on inappropriate in my opinion for this board...we'll see what happens...sniper...any thoughts? Maybe I'm to touchy, I just don't want "racial" jokes to start popping up... Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood moderator... If you can't go fast...go Ugly |
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| Author: | kingfrogger [ 12 Jun 2003, 10:04 ] |
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LMAO... I'm surprised the population's as large as it is. If I shared those beliefs, I would've been gone back at around age 5. I mean, come on... "no football" by itself would've been enough for me. Having to grow up playing games like "Kick the Camel Dung" and "Guess Which Wife is Pregnant <u><b>THIS</b></u> Time" would drive me nuts. “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” Benjamin Franklin, 1759 <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_dead.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle> Edited by - kingfrogger on Jun 12 2003 09:07 AM |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 12 Jun 2003, 10:22 ] |
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Sorry if my post was out of place prkii. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | prkiii [ 12 Jun 2003, 10:41 ] |
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Not necessarily out of place, don't get me wrong, it is funny...I just don't want a trend to start...that's all...Funny thing is...they hate us so much, but before they fly airplanes full of innocent people into buildings, they go to Vegas & gamble, strip clubs, stuff like that...which is totally against the Koran (forgive me if I misspelled it). Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood moderator... If you can't go fast...go Ugly |
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| Author: | sgtgoose1 [ 12 Jun 2003, 19:58 ] |
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THIS IS MILD PRKIII, ON THAT OTHER BOARD,WE KNOW WHICH ONE TOO,THEY LAUGH ABOUT KILLING KIDS,SO TO HELL WITH THEM. PRESS TO TEST |
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| Author: | tritonal [ 12 Jun 2003, 20:23 ] |
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> ...No pork BBQ, No Lobsters, No shellfish...<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> This is true for the Jewish Religion as well. BR-Are you unkosher !!!!!? |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 03:26 ] |
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Hell no! I keep kosher! This email is from a christian point of view. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | fenderstrat72 [ 13 Jun 2003, 04:37 ] |
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I thought is was very funny Ross.<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle> Fender Hands clear. All switches off, safe or normal. Gun hot or cold? No limit, you bet. |
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| Author: | sgtgoose1 [ 13 Jun 2003, 08:54 ] |
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MAN,HOGS GET A BAD RAP DONT THEY? I'M SORRY BUT BBQ PORK IS JUST TOO GOOD!!!!!!!! SO ARE PORKCHOPS , I'D HAVE A HARD TIME KEEPING THOSE LAWS. PLUS GROWNING UP WE RASIED HOGS. PRESS TO TEST |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:13 ] |
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Honk If You Love Jesus The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus'' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance followed by a thunderous prayer meeting,so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed.It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ''For the love of GOD! GO, GO!! Jesus Christ, GO!!'' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a ''sunny beach''...I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage son what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My son burst out laughing...why even HE was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed, so I waved one more time to my loving brothers and sisters, grinning, and drove on through the intersection.I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them all after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one more time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:16 ] |
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Imagine if instead of one astronaut, the entire Space Shuttle crew were Israelis: The flight would leave an hour late. Instead of counting down from ten to blastoff, they'd read T'filat HaDerech. As the astronauts prepared to board the spacecraft, a young girl in a cheap navy jacket would ask them who had packed their luggage. She'd write their replies on her hand and nobody would understand why. At least one of the astronauts would actually be plainclothes security. The orbits around the Earth would take less time than 1 1/2 hours because the pilot would take a shortcut via a lower orbital level. The Shuttle would tailgate the American Spacelab until it was able to pass it (on the right). Each astronaut would have his or her own cellphone and spend most of the flight talking while they worked. After two days in space, the Palestinian Authority would complain to the United Nations and CNN that the Space Shuttle was actually their property and had been for hundreds of years. The next day United Nations would pass a resolution confirming this. Thomas Friedman would suggest that the Israelis give the Palestinians half of the Shuttle. Every time the astronauts appeared on live television, Judge Cheshin would threaten to cut off their press conference. But it wouldn't matter because all of them, including Mission Control, would be talking at the same time so nobody would understand a word anyway. The Shuttle would take two years for preparation - 6 months of training and a year and a half to argue who gets the seats. The Shuttle would need double the amount of toilets. And the astronauts would insist on drinking every hour (anyway the drinks come free with the ticket). The Shuttle would need special air filters to clear out all the sunflower and pumpkin seeds. On the re-entry landing, the Shuttle would have problems with overweight luggage. Some of the overweight would be "souvenirs" pulled off of the Shuttle. The astronauts would stand up to collect their things before the Shuttle came into the atmosphere. And they'd applaud at touchdown. The Space Shuttle would look like a mess after the flight. At least half of the astronauts would put in a request to apply the mileage to their Frequent Flyers account. The longest part of the trip would be standing at Passport Control at Lod Airport. And the taxi home would be the most dangerous part. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | prkiii [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:18 ] |
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"Hawaiian good luck sign"...I'll have to remember that... Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood moderator... If you can't go fast...go Ugly |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:35 ] |
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PARKING TICKET I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse manure. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:37 ] |
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Three Good points There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone "brother" 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's Business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God. But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with his hands. 2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a californian: 1. He never cut his hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He had to feed a crowd in a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:40 ] |
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President Bush calls in the head of the CIA and asks, "How come the Jews know everything before we do?" The CIA chief says, "The Jews have this expression - Vus tutzuch? - (which for those of you who don't know Yiddish means, "What's Happening?") They just ask each other and they know everything." The President decides to personally go undercover to determine if this is true. He gets dressed up as an Orthodox Jew (black hat, beard, long grayish) is secretly flown in an unmarked plane to New York, picked up in an unmarked car and dropped off in Brooklyn's most Jewish neighborhood. Soon a little old man comes shuffling along. The President stops him and whispers, "Vus tutzuch?" The old guy whispers back ..... "Bush is in Brooklyn." "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 13 Jun 2003, 09:44 ] |
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US Central Intelligence has discovered SOME NEW TOWNS... 1. Wherz-Myroof 2. Mykamel-Izded 3. Oshit-Disisabad 4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon 5. Pleez-Ztopdishit 6. Kizz-Yerass-Goodbi 7. Ikantstan-Disnomore 8. Wha-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin 9. Myturbin-Izburnin "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | chadrewsky [ 13 Jun 2003, 12:07 ] |
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I agree with what prkii is saying, and I also found the thread very ammusing. Maybe you should titile the thread "why radical muslims kill themselves. I have no problem making fun of radical muslims, nazis, christian evengalist(s) and the like.......... I quote the famous 20th century philospher "In my mind ism's are not good.......I could be a socialst anrachist, and it still wouldn't change the fact I don't own a car" -Ferris Bueller 1986. If your not having fun, your not doing it right! |
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| Author: | chadrewsky [ 13 Jun 2003, 12:10 ] |
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oh, also bear in mind Big Ross there are plenty "Jewish Jokes" out there as well...Just make sure you can take as good as you give buddy
If your not having fun, your not doing it right! |
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| Author: | Lunatock [ 14 Jun 2003, 08:10 ] |
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> oh, also bear in mind Big Ross there are plenty "Jewish Jokes" out there as well...Just make sure you can take as good as you give buddy
If your not having fun, your not doing it right! <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> Hear about that new Jewish car? Stops on a dime, picks it up too. <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle> "Yes! That was too hard. You end up breaking or hyper extending anything, and I'll slap your face off" |
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| Author: | M21 Sniper [ 14 Jun 2003, 09:15 ] |
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Please heed Prkiii BR. He's the good cop mod. 
"Trample the wounded...hurdle the dead" |
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| Author: | prkiii [ 14 Jun 2003, 09:53 ] |
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Please heed Prkiii BR. He's the good cop mod.
"Trample the wounded...hurdle the dead" <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> good cop...bad cop...that'll work for me...<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle> Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood moderator... If you can't go fast...go Ugly |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 14 Jun 2003, 13:15 ] |
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Why do Jews have big noses? Cuz air is free!!! The Bible by Kids If you know the Bible, even a little, you'll find this humorous! It comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) 1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark Noah built an ark, which the animals come onto in pears. 3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. 4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. 5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. 6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. 7. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. 8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments. 9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. 11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol. 12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. 13. David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. 14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines 15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. 16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. 17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. 18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. 19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone. 20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. 21. The people who followed the Lord were called the12 decibels. 22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. 23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. 24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,> which is another name for marriage. 25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony. "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 14 Jun 2003, 13:33 ] |
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Kol Nidre night. Sidney telephones Rabbi Levy. He says, "Rabbi, I know tonight is Kol Nidre night, but tonight Spurs are in the European Cup quarter finals. Rabbi, I'm a life long Spurs fan. I've got to watch the Spurs game on TV." Rabbi Levy replies, "Sidney, that's what video recorders are for." Sidney is surprised. "You mean I can tape Kol Nidre"? Come & get me! Isaac and Sarah got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Sarah immediately telephoned her mother Leah. "Well," said Leah, "how was the honeymoon,darling?" "Oh mum," Sarah replied, "the honeymoon was fantastic. It was so romantic, and ..and..." Then Sarah started to cry. "Oh mum, as soon as we got back, Isaac started using terrible language. He said things I'd never hoped to hear, all those 4-letter words. Please mum, get into your car now and come and take me home." "Calm down, darling," said Leah, "tell your mother what could be that awful. Don't be shy, tell me what 4-letter words Isaac used." "Please mum, I'm too embarrassed to tell you, they're terrible words. Just come and take me away." said Sarah. "But bubeleh, you must tell me, you must tell me what the 4-letter words were." Still crying, Sarah replies, "Oh mum, he used words like WASH, COOK, IRON, DUST, ..." Morris, the Samurai. There once was a powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai. So he put up posters throughout the land saying he was searching for a new chief Samurai. But after 2 months, only 3 Samurai applied for the job, a Japanese, a Chinese, and Morris. So he interviewed all three. The emperor first asked the Japanese to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai. The Japanese opened a little silver box and out flew a little fly. Whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in two pieces. The emperor was impressed. The emperor then asked the Chinese to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai. The Chinese opened a small pearl box and out flew a smaller fly. Whoosh, whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in four pieces. The emperor was very impressed. Then the emperor asked Morris to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai. Morris opened a small gold box and out flew a wasp. Whoooooossshhh, whoooooossshhh, whooooooossshhh, whoooooossshhh, whoooooossshhh went Morris's sword, but the wasp was still alive and buzzing around the emperor. The emperor was very disappointed and asked Morris, "After all your sword play, why is the wasp not dead?" Morris replied, "A circumcision is never intended to kill." Starting all over again. Yitzhak and Melvyn live in a retirement home. One day, as they are sitting on a bench under a tree, Yitzhak turns to Melvyn and says, "Melvyn, I'm 85 years old and I'm full of aches and pains. You're about my age. How do you feel?" Melvyn replies, "I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really? Like a baby?" "Yes," replies Melvyn, "no hair, no teeth and I think I just wet myself." Another visit to the doctor. Benjy goes to see his doctor because he isn't feeling too well. After examining him, the doctor takes some samples from Benjy and asks him to come back the following week for the results. When Benjy returns, his doctor tells him, "I have some good news and some bad news for you, Benjy. What do you want to hear first?" Benjy replies, "Let me have the good news first." "OK," says the doctor, "they're going to name the disease after you." He had a hat! Becky and Myron decided to take their little son from the heat of the city to his first visit to the beach. Dressed in his little sailor suit and hat and pail and shovel in hand, the boy happily played at the water's edge as his mother and father spread their picnic blanket. Then suddenly, to his parents' horror, a huge wave crashed down on the boy and then dragged him far out to sea. As neither of his parents could swim, his mother began to wail and cry, "Dear God, be merciful. Return our son to us!" Suddenly another huge wave cast the boy back up on the sand at his parents' feet. His mother inspected her son and then quickly looked back towards the heavens and said, "He had a hat!" Q: Why are Jewish men with pierced ears well prepared for marriage? A: Because they’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. The Rabbi’s visit One Sunday morning, Rabbi Rabbinovitz goes to visit Samuel Lyons. "Shalom, Sam. I’ll come straight to the point. I’ve come here because our synagogue needs your help. You’ve been a member for over 20 years and I realise that you’re always quick to pay your membership fees in full. But as you are aware, we are in a financial crisis. I've come here to ask you for a little extra for the new school building fund." "How much are you looking to get from me - how big is little?" asks Sam. "I’ll be honest. £10,000 would be a tremendous help to us," replies the Rabbi." Sam responds, "Rabbi, my daughter Rebecca is soon getting married and she has asked me for £25,000 to help her buy that house she saw in Hampstead. And my son David is just starting at Manchester University and he wants £25,000 to see him through the difficult first year there. My wife Sadie wants a hysterectomy and she has asked for £30,000 for the doctors’ fees and in-patient facilities. And that’s not all. You know from your own experience that to keep my mother in a nursing home, they are asking £35,000. So Rabbi, if I can say 'no' to them, I can say 'no' to you." The Rabbi and the Parrots One day, Hette approaches her Rabbi after the service and says to him, "Rabbi, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the Rabbi asks. "They only know how to say, 'Hello, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?'" "Why, that's terrible!" the Rabbi says, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house tomorrow and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read Hebrew. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Oh thank you, Rabbi," Hette replies. The next day Hette brings her female parrots to the Rabbi's house. His two male parrots are wearing tiny yamulkes and praying in their cage. Hette puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hello, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put away the siddurs! Our prayers have been answered!" "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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| Author: | bigross86 [ 15 Jun 2003, 01:42 ] |
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RATHER, JACKSON, ROBERTS and AN ISRAELI SOLDIER Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts, and an Israeli soldier were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the village, and brought before the chief. The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?" Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan, so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content." Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace." Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job until the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy." The chief then said, "And, Mr. Israeli soldier, what is your final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Israeli. "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Israeli. So the chief untied the soldier, shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Israeli went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his uzi, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were all dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Israeli was untying the others, they each asked him, "Why did you ask the chief to kick you in the ass? Why didn't you just shoot them?" "What?" exclaimed the Israeli. "And risk having you f***ers call ME the aggressor!!!" "Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI |
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