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PostPosted: 21 Oct 2003, 06:47 
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Joined: 08 May 2003, 09:23
Posts: 729
An old married couple no sooner hits the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score"
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7"
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field Goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally craps in the bed.
The wife says "What the hell was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."


“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” Benjamin Franklin, 1759


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PostPosted: 21 Oct 2003, 14:44 
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Joined: 17 Oct 2002, 11:23
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Location: Pennsylvania
Those who mentioned bad taste might indeed be onto something.

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"No wonder my Brother was a Marine Grunt, and not in any Spec Ops. The concept of a timetable is too advanced for him."

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PostPosted: 21 Oct 2003, 15:19 
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Joined: 08 May 2003, 09:23
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COME ON!!! I can't catch a friggin' break!

My mother sent me that joke in an e-mail, thank you very much. I didn't think it was that distasteful... well, not when compared to the 'Kosher sausage' remark, I suppose. <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” Benjamin Franklin, 1759


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PostPosted: 21 Oct 2003, 15:38 
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Joined: 02 Aug 2002, 14:24
Posts: 1752
An old Russian couple settle down for the evening and prepare for bed. Before joining his wife, the old man kneels before the fireplace, clasps his hands, and prays,"May the Good Lord harden me and guide me."

His dear wife, upon hearing this, smirks and responds,"You can pray to God to harden you, but I can guide it in myself..."

A sucking chest wound is life's way of telling you to slow down...


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PostPosted: 21 Oct 2003, 15:57 
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Joined: 05 Oct 2002, 14:22
Posts: 5353
Location: Missouri
the wife was clearly a FAC!!

"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us". George Orwell

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