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* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

* Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

* He who hesitates is probably right.

* Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

* No one is listening until you make a mistake.

* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

* The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

* Two wrongs are only the beginning.

* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

* The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

* Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

* Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

* If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

* How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....

* I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

* Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

* Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

* Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

* 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

* If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you...



"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> very nice!

"The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!"
-Friedrich Nietzsche-

_________________
\"I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives\"

"Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now."

The correct phrase is Laziness pays off RIGHT NOW.

<b>"You got me all wrong Mudd...i don't like anyone.</b><img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle>"
<img src="http://worldaffairsboard.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=862&stc=1" border=0>

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
And no damn chlorine. Personally I don't mind the 'no lifeguard' idea; that's sort of on purpose, isn't it? Let the idiots that can't swim drown and put them out of my misery. It's all the little bastards pissing in it for the rest of us that hacks me off.

“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” Benjamin Franklin, 1759