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| My Family Tree http://warthogterritory.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=8390 |
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| Author: | 44hollowpoint [ 17 Feb 2005, 14:08 ] |
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<font size=4>MY FAMILY TREE</font id=size4> I've been posting here a while now, so I thought I'd introduce you all to the family... This is me. Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I love being a babe hound. Girls make spit roll down my chin. I have a stomach problem and fart a lot. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image001.jpg" border=0> This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image002.jpg" border=0> This is my brother Hank. He is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image003.jpg" border=0> My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. She smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over and they leak yellow stuff on the furniture. The flies are terrible. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image004.jpg" border=0> My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image005.jpg" border=0> This is my dad’s truck. The bloodstains inside are almost all gone. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image006.jpg" border=0> My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking an eggbeater after mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image007.jpg" border=0> We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is only 27 and all ready in the 4th grade. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image008.jpg" border=0> My half brother JimBob and his wife. She is a hottie. They raise Possum in their back yard. They are not allowed to have children. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image009.jpg" border=0> This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look different. We depend on her welfare check to get by. She has a disease that makes her itch. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image010.jpg" border=0> Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once went 53 days without taking a bath. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image011.jpg" border=0> This is Buck. He is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image012.jpg" border=0> This is my sister’s boyfriend for now. His name is Larry. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My sister says he has a hairy butt. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image013.jpg" border=0> This is Michael. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on the interstate. I still wear his underwear. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image014.jpg" border=0> These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. There used to be 3 of them. Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff any more. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image015.jpg" border=0> Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake crashed a lot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmet. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image016.jpg" border=0> My uncle Marky is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Vietnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image017.jpg" border=0> This is my stepbrother Phil. He had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese. <img src="http://www.fullyauto.demon.co.uk/clip_image018.jpg" border=0> Don't be a stranger now... "A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..." |
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| Author: | mattlott [ 17 Feb 2005, 14:43 ] |
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damn the inbreeding hit that family hard. Why dont you guys atleast keep it to cousins and grow the gene pool a little. |
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| Author: | mattlott [ 17 Feb 2005, 14:45 ] |
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oops did anyone notice the quality English dental work also? |
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| Author: | boomer [ 17 Feb 2005, 15:15 ] |
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well I guess it's confirmed, we ARE related <sigh> <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> "We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us". George Orwell Fighting For Justice With Brains Of Steel ! <img src="http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/ac/atengun2X.GIF" border=0> |
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| Author: | Hawg166 [ 17 Feb 2005, 17:28 ] |
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All are obviously the offspring of a wayward weapons troop. <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> By this time tomorrow I shall have gained either a pearage or Westminster Abbey........Nelson |
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| Author: | fenderstrat72 [ 17 Feb 2005, 18:03 ] |
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More like knuckle dragging crew chief offspring. Fender "A woman drove me to drink and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her". W.C. Fields |
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| Author: | M&M [ 17 Feb 2005, 18:04 ] |
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It doesnt appear to be much of a tree.....I'm thinking more like a fence post (no branches)<img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> "face it....perhaps your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others!" |
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| Author: | Hawg166 [ 17 Feb 2005, 19:59 ] |
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"More like knuckle dragging crew chief offspring." Hey I resemble that remark ! By this time tomorrow I shall have gained either a pearage or Westminster Abbey........Nelson |
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| Author: | Racegal8 [ 17 Feb 2005, 20:01 ] |
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Yeah M&M i'm with you, family trees usually fork! This gene pool is in desperate need of chlorine! <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle> "The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!" -Friedrich Nietzsche- |
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| Author: | MrMudd [ 17 Feb 2005, 20:22 ] |
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Mine Didnt Trees Dont Grow in the Desert. Were in the Import Biddness <img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle> Salt pond City Trading Company. "RickUSN- That was intelligent and useful Mudd. But it certainly is what Ive come to expect. Mindless babbling with no intent to either enlighten or inform. |
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| Author: | 30mike-mike [ 18 Feb 2005, 05:37 ] |
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>family trees usually fork!<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> I think that's part of the problem...they've been "forking" too close to the trunk!<img src=newicons/tard.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> So, you have trouble. We all have trouble. Build a bridge and get over it. |
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| Author: | MICHAEL PIJAR [ 18 Feb 2005, 05:42 ] |
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Hey Hawg166 Scooby could easily fit in with this family. I know that wasn't very nice but what the heck. "GLAD TO HAVE BEEN THERE AND HAVE BEEN PROUD TO HAVE SERVERED" |
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| Author: | 44hollowpoint [ 18 Feb 2005, 05:53 ] |
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Come on, Are you all trying to tell me that you haven't already matched up some folk from WT to some of the photos <img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>... "A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..." |
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| Author: | 44hollowpoint [ 18 Feb 2005, 05:59 ] |
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BTW (and in no way is this post related to the one above), where's Snipe gotten to? "A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..." |
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| Author: | Racegal8 [ 18 Feb 2005, 06:36 ] |
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Last i heard 44hollowpoint Sniper was down with a pinched nerve in his neck for the past week or so. "The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!" -Friedrich Nietzsche- |
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| Author: | 44hollowpoint [ 18 Feb 2005, 06:42 ] |
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Cheers Racegal8, Let us know how he's getting on. Anbody know any fitness instructor type twin sisters up for offering him a bed-bath..? "A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..." |
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| Author: | Hawg166 [ 18 Feb 2005, 06:43 ] |
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He probably pulled a muscle romping with his harem. I dont feel bad for him. Heck I envy him ! By this time tomorrow I shall have gained either a pearage or Westminster Abbey........Nelson |
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| Author: | 44hollowpoint [ 18 Feb 2005, 06:52 ] |
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Holy Shit <img src=newicons/tard.gif border=0 align=middle>... If he manages to pull a neck muscle whilst getting it on, he could write a book about that technique. Come to think of it, it also explains why he has a hareem! I just lie back and think of England... "A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..." |
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| Author: | Racegal8 [ 18 Feb 2005, 18:34 ] |
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I'll keep you posted if i hear anything 44! "The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!" -Friedrich Nietzsche- |
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| Author: | MrMudd [ 18 Feb 2005, 20:03 ] |
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Holy Shit <img src=newicons/tard.gif border=0 align=middle>... If he manages to pull a neck muscle whilst getting it on, he could write a book about that technique. Come to think of it, it also explains why he has a hareem! I just lie back and think of England... "A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..." <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> It's what happens when ya grip too hard <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle> "RickUSN- That was intelligent and useful Mudd. But it certainly is what Ive come to expect. Mindless babbling with no intent to either enlighten or inform. |
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