here is a old one. still funny.
>
> NEW CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S TEST
>
>
> Here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and
> for those of you
> who do, study real hard.
>
> This is a new Exam. Since driving conditions (and
> culture) are unique
> in California, you may not have realized that the
> California
> Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a
> special
> Application and
> driver's test solely for the California area.
>
> 2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
>
> Name: ___________________ Stage
> Name:__________________
>
> Agent: ___________________
> Attorney:____________________
>
> Therapist's Name: _________________
>
> Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female*
> [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female
> [ ] Both
>
> *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
>
> Will the size of your implants hinder your ability
> to
> safely operate a
> motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No
>
> Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
>
> If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why
> you
> don't:
> ________________________________________ _______
> (Use extra pages, if necessary)
>
> Please check hair color:Females: [ ] Blonde [ ]
> Platinum Blonde
> Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [
> ]
> Blue
> [ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________
>
> Please check activities you perform while driving:
> (Check all that
> apply)
> [ ] Eating
> [ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
> [ ] Applying make-up
> [ ] Shaving (male or female)
> [X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your
> convenience)
> [ ] Lifting weights
> [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
> [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
> [ ] Tanning
> [ ] Snorting cocaine
> [ ] Watching TV
> [ ] Reading Variety
> [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
> [ ] Discharging firearms / reloading
>
> Please indicate how many times, while driving, you
> expect to:
> [ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
> [ ] b) Be shot at ___
>
> If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should
> immediately:
> [ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
> [ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then
> watch your
> car on the news in a high- speed chase.
> [ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit
> against
> cellular
> phone company for your 911 call not going through.
> [ ] d) Call your therapist.
>
> In the event of an earthquake, you should:
> [ ] a) Stop your car.
> [ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
> [ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all
> loved ones.
> [ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage
> for Channel 9.
>
> In the instance of rain, you should:
> [ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
> [ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
> [ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.
>
> Please indicate your current number of therapy
> sessions per
> week: ________
>
> Are you presently taking any of the following
> medications?
> [ ] a) Prozac
> [ ] b) Zovirax
> [ ] c) Lithium
> [ ] d) Zanax
> [ ] e) Valium
> [ ] f) Medical pot
> [ ] g) Zoloft
> [ ] h) All of the above
> [ ] i) None of the above*
>
> * If none, please explain: __________________.
>
> Length of daily commute:
> [ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
> [ ] b) 1 hour
> [ ] c) 2 hours
> [ ] d) 3 hours
> [ ] e) 4 hours or more
>
> * If less than 1 hour, please
> explain:____________________.
>
> When stopped by police, you should:
> [ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and
> insurance form
> ready.
> [ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way
> on
> the freeway.
> [ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them
> to attack, thus
> ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.
>
> When you see a woman driver with her arm extended
> out
> the window, it
> means:
> [ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
> [ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to
> change lanes.
> [ ] c) She is drying her nails.
>
> Which part of your car will wear out first?
> [ ] a) The wiper blades
> [ ] b) The seat belts
> [ ] c) The horn
>
> Automatic door locks are good for:
> [ ] a) Security
> [ ] b) Convenience
> [ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to
> get
> in.
>
> The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
> [ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
> [ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of
> the way
> [ ] c) Revenge
>
>
>
>
=-=
"In the instance of rain, you should: "
No as funny, it actually rained this year.
any one think they passed?<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>
"Why why why was i programmed to feel pain!"
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