RETIREMENT BONUS
The Army found they had too many officers and NCO's so they decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any one who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body. The officer or NCO got to choose what those two points would be.
The first who accepted was a Major, who asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer, a Colonel, was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Sgt. Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Sgt Major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sgt Major to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sgt Major's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your
testicles?"
The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, "Vietnam."
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