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Help needed - Can't stop farting
https://warthogterritory.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=9079
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Author:  44hollowpoint [ 25 May 2005, 13:21 ]
Post subject: 

This is not a joke...

I've been blowing gas nearly constantly for 5 hours and I'm starting to get worried.

Is it possible to die from flatulance..?

The wife was out so I cooked myself lunch. The ingredients were:

One tin of baked beans
One can of Frankfurters (should be Farters)
Half a pound of grated cheese
One fried onion
Chilli powder

It tasted good, real good. But things have been seriously active in the ass deparment ever since.

Anybody suggest any cures..?

"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  M&M [ 25 May 2005, 13:36 ]
Post subject: 

<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

<img src="http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/457/bgnrjsiiw81q1gc.jpg" border=0>

Author:  M21 Sniper [ 25 May 2005, 14:04 ]
Post subject: 

Butt plug?

Why fart it and waste it...when you can burp it and taste it. ;)

<b>There are two kinds of soldiers.
Snipers...and targets.</b>
<img src="http://www.creedmoorsports.com/images/SA9121-M21.JPG" border=0>

Author:  44hollowpoint [ 25 May 2005, 14:11 ]
Post subject: 

Bro,

Two things...

1) That burping thing is gross...

2) A butt plug is not a good idea. I would turn it into a hyper velocity round with the sort of PSI I'm generating...

"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  bigross86 [ 25 May 2005, 14:17 ]
Post subject: 

Light a match... frequently!

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

Author:  Tritonal-05 [ 25 May 2005, 18:09 ]
Post subject: 

If you start to dehydrate, then that's a problem.
<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Is it possible to die from flatulance..?<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

The only people that will die are the poor souls around you...<i>1/2 lb of grated cheese!!!???</i>

Author:  Racegal8 [ 25 May 2005, 21:26 ]
Post subject: 

.44, i'll be nice and give you some helpgul tips......but you have to know i'm still laughing at you! <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

Take Pepto bismol to settle your stomach and below - or just eat something bland, like some plain white rice!

" When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!"

Author:  Racegal8 [ 25 May 2005, 21:28 ]
Post subject: 

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Light a match... frequently! <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Ummmm anyone else thinking if he does this, there is a possibility he's gonna explode? <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

" When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!"

Author:  44hollowpoint [ 26 May 2005, 00:12 ]
Post subject: 

After a good nights sleep, with the windows wide open, I'm happy to report all is now well.

Next time you guys need somewhere like Cu Chi or Tora Bora clearing out, give me a call.

This episode has taught me two things...

1) Never empty the fridge by eating everything that's inside it.

2) Looking for sympathy on WT is like Tuna fishing in a puddle. You ain't going to get much...

Racegal,
I'll remember those tips for the next time. Becuase I never learn and there will be a next time.

Trit,
I can't help it. I like cheese. And you know how it goes, you put a bit in and then a bit more and then what's left doesn't look like much so you add it all.


"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  Tritonal-05 [ 26 May 2005, 00:18 ]
Post subject: 

<i>Trit,
I can't help it. I like cheese. And you know how it goes, you put a bit in and then a bit more and then what's left doesn't look like much so you add it all.</i>

I'm Italian, I feel your pain.
<img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

I believe my blood type is: Parmesan(positive)






Edited by - Tritonal-05 on May 26 2005 01:24 AM

Author:  44hollowpoint [ 26 May 2005, 02:51 ]
Post subject: 

LOL...

And you don't have arteries, you have capillary tubes...


"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  bigross86 [ 26 May 2005, 09:23 ]
Post subject: 

Ah, cheese. Melted, grated or otherwise. On pasta, in tuna melts, on cheese. Goes with everything!

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

Author:  Homer32 [ 26 May 2005, 09:47 ]
Post subject: 

LOL, what a topic.
But if anyone told me there was a topic about "cant stop farting" on WT, I knew who started it...

I hope your wife was out for a bit longer... or do you have seperate bedrooms??
<img src=newicons/anim_bannana.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

http://www.reelwavs.com/movies/dumb_and ... dumb13.wav

Author:  30mike-mike [ 26 May 2005, 09:50 ]
Post subject: 

She went to a hotel. As soon as the exterminator verifies all the roaches are dead, she'll be back. <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig

Author:  M&M [ 26 May 2005, 09:55 ]
Post subject: 

Was a hazardous response team called at all? Perhaps EOD?

<img src="http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/457/bgnrjsiiw81q1gc.jpg" border=0>

Author:  44hollowpoint [ 26 May 2005, 09:57 ]
Post subject: 

Did you know if you fart into a fridge the smell stays fresh longer...

Exactly the same principle as keeping your ground coffee fresh...

"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  44hollowpoint [ 26 May 2005, 09:59 ]
Post subject: 

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> She went to a hotel. As soon as the exterminator verifies all the roaches are dead, she'll be back<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> I hope your wife was out for a bit longer... or do you have seperate bedrooms??
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>Was a hazardous response team called at all? Perhaps EOD? <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

You guys have no concept of sympathy do you...

"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  Homer32 [ 26 May 2005, 10:03 ]
Post subject: 

if you ever fart into MY fridge, I´ll show you my concept of sympathy..

<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

http://www.reelwavs.com/movies/dumb_and ... dumb13.wav

Author:  Lunatock [ 26 May 2005, 10:50 ]
Post subject: 

Take comfort in the fact that your now done farting, but be forewarned that it might of just been something "cooking off" in your digestive system and might be thoroughly dried up, not unlike clay. <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"It looks like thier commemerating themselves after D-Day." -.02 after scanning a book of french(spit) stamps

Author:  30mike-mike [ 26 May 2005, 10:56 ]
Post subject: 

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>You guys have no concept of sympathy do you...<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote> Of course we do, but we extend it for/to situations/people who really deserve it.<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle> And since no one else has mentioned it- this whole thread stinks.<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig

Author:  bigross86 [ 26 May 2005, 11:21 ]
Post subject: 

Wow, what a pun, 30mm! Incidentally, PUN starts with Pee Eww!

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

Author:  30mike-mike [ 26 May 2005, 11:39 ]
Post subject: 

Good shot, BR!

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig

Author:  44hollowpoint [ 26 May 2005, 14:54 ]
Post subject: 

That awfull, both of you...

Who let you two out of Kindergarden..?

"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005

Author:  Lunatock [ 26 May 2005, 17:24 ]
Post subject: 

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
That awfull, both of you...

Who let you two out of Kindergarden..?

"I can just punch holes in paper for sooo long before I want to see something blow up/fall down "
- Boomer 5th May 2005
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

They must have done good in Kindergarten, and decided to stick with it their entire lives.

"It looks like thier commemerating themselves after D-Day." -.02 after scanning a book of french(spit) stamps

Author:  30mike-mike [ 27 May 2005, 06:08 ]
Post subject: 

<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle> And that's why I are a gummint worker today!<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig

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