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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 09:37 
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My daughter, Laura, age 16, was seeing a guy, age 18, against my and my wife's wishes. Well, to make a long story short, Laura is now 2 1/2 months pregnant. We figure, whats done is done, and even though under AZ law he could be jailed, we did not push that as we figured that not only was Laura as guilty as he was, but it would do our grandbaby no good to have a daddy that was in jail and thus unable to support him/her. Over the past month, Kevin <spit> has gotten more and more erratic. . .demanding that Laura report to him everywhere she goes, who she sees, expecting her to call him the minute she gets home and before she goes anywhere so he'll know where she is at all times. . .in short, being a control freak. Laura finally told him to f**k off and die, and he has been calling her multiple times a day, calling all her friends to ask where she is and what she's doing, sitting on the sidewalk in front of our house waiting for her to get home, waiting for her at the bus stop after school. . .in effect, stalking her. Laura went to the courthouse on Tuesday and got a restraining order, and we have a hearing this coming Wednesday. We tried Wednesday evening, all day Thursday, and Friday morning to have him served (service has to be done by a process server or police officer) but he either wasn't home or wouldn't answer the door.

Yesterday (Friday) afternoon, when Laura and Lisa got home from school, there was Kevin <spit>, waiting for them. He started ranting and raving, screaming obscenities at Laura and demanding she "return his stuff". . .my wife, quick thinker that she is, told him, "If you want your stuff, call the police and have them come with you to get it". So he went down to stand on the corner and called the cops, they showed up, and my wife gave them the service papers, and <i>viola!</i> he's served. He called the cops on himself!

The police officer told my wife that most likely Kevin <spit> will likely be arrested at the court on Wednesday for violation of ARS 13-1405 which states:

<i> 13-1405. Sexual conduct with a minor; classifications

A. A person commits sexual conduct with a minor by intentionally or knowingly engaging in sexual intercourse or oral sexual contact with any person who is under eighteen years of age.

B. Sexual conduct with a minor who is under fifteen years of age is a class 2 felony and is punishable pursuant to section 13-604.01. Sexual conduct with a minor who is at least fifteen years of age is a class 6 felony. Sexual conduct with a minor who is at least fifteen years of age is a class 2 felony if the person is the minor's parent, stepparent, adoptive parent, legal guardian or foster parent and the convicted person is not eligible for suspension of sentence, probation, pardon or release from confinement on any basis except as specifically authorized by section 31-233, subsection A or B until the sentence imposed has been served or commuted. </i>

Under AZ law, its a Class 6 felony, punishable by up to 1 1/2 years in prison. And he will be ineligible for bail, or for a reduction in sentence. We really don't want to see this young man's life ruined, but it is basically out of our hands now. His own stupidity is what got him to this point. Last spring, when this all first started, I told him he was too old for Laura, and he knows about my son Patrick being in prison for a similar situation. I spoke to his parents, and expressed my concerns to them also. But he went ahead and dipped his wick anyway, knowing full well what the possible consequences were. Now he must face them.

“With reasonable men, I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.”

William Lloyd Garrison, 1805-1879


Edited by - LinusMK2 on Jan 29 2005 08:38 AM


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 10:41 
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damn he needs to be taken out of gene pool calling the cops on himself. Sorry for you problem I can see why you didnt approve of him from the get go. No brains.


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 16:14 
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Thats a tough situation LinusMK2, hopefully Laura will continue to make better decisions for herself now. Sounds like that baby situation might have "blew Kevin's mind" only being 18 and not wanting to deal with a responsibility that is 1/2 on him, your doing everything right don't worry!

I'm glad that your family is getting everything straightened out ok!

"The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!"
-Friedrich Nietzsche-

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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 16:56 
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Stay positive Man!

The best thing you can do is Keep showing your Family, Children the Positive steps to take, and help them establish those patterns of success. All of my kids are still in the Elementry School years, and Im pretty damn overwelmed. I had very strong ambition as a kid and i find it impossible daily to instill that in my kids. Its a tough road, but regardless if they fall of the trail, You have to be there.

I was pretty fortunate as a kid. My dad hated the military (vietnam Vet Survived "the walking dead" as a Corpsman in the 9th MArines) Grandfather was a West Point Legend. I was accepted to a Service academy and was denied it, Ran away to colelge at 16 and was sent home by Boston Colleges dean my third Semester (DAmn i had fun!) I had to Legally Divorce my parents to have any chance at success in life. I had my Car, a Highschool Diploma at 16 1/2 and my 69 Chevelle.. I drove and drove till i ended up in Pacific beach. Had no Food, no gas money. and ended up enlisting in the MArine Reserve. The rest is as they say is history. I look back on it, and All i had to rely on was myself. learning those patterns of success as a youth, and having ambition, initiative and drive. Is what makes or breaks us. AS long as your kids have that Logical Mean Gene in them to survive. Any roadblock can be overcame.

I always tell my wife. MY life ended when my kids began. So all of my choices now are to better theres.

HAving a Family is what makes us " trully acountable" Your daughter unfortunately is going to have to realise and accept the concequences.

But i bet thats how 90% of us here on this board began our families.

Just Got to Step to the plate, No looking back now.

And Congrats on the new Grandchild, Kids are awesome!

"...some people will find any reason to complain. there's no pleasing some people. fuck it. living life makes more sense than thinking life. fuck it all and fucking no regrets. get over it. life moves on"

Edited by - mrmudd on Jan 29 2005 4:05 PM


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 18:19 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>I'm glad that your family is getting everything straightened out ok!<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
Thanks, Racegal. Laura is a good kid. . .she will be a great mother. Of course, she has my wife as a role model. :)

MrMudd:

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Stay positive Man!. . .The best thing you can do is Keep showing your Family, Children the Positive steps to take, and help them establish those patterns of success.<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
We are. Of course we are not happy with the situation, but to be downbeat and negative solves nothing. We are trying to stay as positive as we can. One thing for which I am very grateful is that the subject of abortion never came up. Never thought it would, as Laura is active with Arizona Right To Life.

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>All of my kids are still in the Elementry School years, and Im pretty damn overwelmed. I had very strong ambition as a kid and i find it impossible daily to instill that in my kids. Its a tough road, but regardless if they fall of the trail, You have to be there.<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
Laura is our youngest of six. 4 boys and 2 girls. Our oldest boy has a son and our oldest daughter has a son and 2 daughters. They have fallen, only one seriously, but we have always stood by them, and Laura will be no different.

Sounds like you did some serious overcoming there, Mudd. Congrats on that!

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>And Congrats on the new Grandchild, Kids are awesome!<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
Thanks. He/she won't arrive until August, but we are sorta looking forward to it, with a tuoch of sadness that Laura has robbed herself of much teen activity before stepping into the world of parenthood.

“With reasonable men, I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.”

William Lloyd Garrison, 1805-1879


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 18:42 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>a Highschool Diploma at 16 1/2 and my 69 Chevelle.. I drove and drove till i ended up in Pacific beach. <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

How'd you wind up with a degree at 16 1/2 years?
Were you some boy genius!!?


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 19:07 
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Tritonol, my oldest son Joshua turned 16 on April 25 1998 and graduated from High School 5 weeks later.

“With reasonable men, I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.”

William Lloyd Garrison, 1805-1879


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 19:46 
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Linus, did he skip grades?

<i>BTW: All the best to your family in this time of crisis.</i>


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 20:53 
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I FEEL FOR YOU MAN,BUT YOUR DOING THE RIGHT THING AND THE "MASTER MUDD" ALWAYS GIVES GOOD ADVICE.

A COUPLE OF FOLKS HERE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO WITH MY NIECE,
FIRST WAS A A STUDENT IN SCHOOL AND IN HERE SENIOR GOT A CASE OF "STUPID" AND MY SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW FELL FOR IT.
THEY LET HER BOYFRIEND MOVE IN BECAUSE "HIS FAMILY WAS MEAN AND THREW HIM OUT BLAH BLAH BLAH,
AND IF HE COULDNT LIVE WITH THEM SHE WAS GOING TO GO WITH HIM,HEY SHE WAS 18 ALREADY.
WELL WHEN YOU HEARD THE STORY ABOUT HOW MY SIS COULDNT SLEEP FROM ALL THE NOISE THEY WERE MAKING ,DUH! SHE GOT PREGANT, THE FATHER IS A LOOSER AND WHO KNOWS WHERE HE IS.
MY SIS RAISED HER LITTLE GIRL AS HER OWN AND SO ON,WE 6 YRS LATER THE NIECE GETS KNOCKED-UP AGAIN"BECAUSE THEY WE'RE ENGAGED" WELL THE MONTH BEFORE MY NEW NEPHEW WAS BORN HER "BOYFRIEND GOT ANOTHER KNOCKED UP",BUT THEN FOUND OUT HE HAD 2 OTHERS.
WELL SHE DUMPED HIM HAD THE BABY BOY, WELL NOW SISTER IS RAISING 2 GRANDKIDS SO SHE PUT HER FOOT DOWN AND MADE HER START TAKING CARE OF HER KIDS,DAMN SHE'S 26 SO WHEN THE BOY TURNED 6 MONTHS SHE FOUND A "NEW BOYFRIEND" AND HE MOVED IN,WELL "ET" AS I CALL MY NEPHEW IS A PISTOL! WELL HE GOT SICK,HIS REAL FATHER WOULDNT TAKE CARE OF HIM OR SUPPORT HIM AND THE BABYSITTER WOULDNT TAKE HIM,SO NEW BOY FRIEND "SAYS I'LL WATCH HIM"
THIS IS THE FRIDAY BEFORE T-DAY NOV.
WELL SHE LEFT AT 7 FOR WORK AND BY 10 HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER THE MEDICS FOUND HIM KNOCKED OUT, THE BOYFRIEND SAID HE JUMPED OUT OF HIS CRIB, WELL THEY AIRLIFTED ET TO CHICAGO BECAUSE HIS HEAD WAS CAVED IN,
THEY ARRESTED THE BOYFRIEND FOR "ABUSE,CHILD NEGLECT AND BATTERY" I KNOW THE COPS AND THEY HAD FOUND EVIDANCE WHERE HE THREW ET NOT ONCE BUT TWICE AGAINST THE WALL!
SO AS OF TODAY THAT -------- IS SITTING IN JAIL AND ET CAME HOME FINALLY BUT STILL HAS A TUBE IN HIM FOR FEEDING AND MEDICATION AGAINST ALL ODDS,THEY DIDNT GIVE HIM 48HRS TO START, BUT HE'S DOING PRETTY GOOD AND THEY THINK HE WONT HAVE ANY PREMANT DAMAGE,THANK GOD,
BUT THE BOYFRIEND WONT TALK PERIOD. AND THE TRAIL IS COMMING UP SOON
BUT MY SISTER HANGS IN THERE TAKING CARE OF HER GRANDKIDS AND HER DAUGHTER.

SO LINUS I THINK YOUR DOING A GOOD JOB HANDLING IT.

I TELL MY 17 AND 15 YEAR OLD TO REMEMBER ONE THING,IF THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT A STUNT LIKE THAT,REMEMBER JUST WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE WHEN I PUT MY FOOT IN THEIR ASS AND THEN HAVING TO REMOVE IT BECAUSE IT WONT BE FUN...........


MONEY TALKS,B.S. JUST PILES UP.

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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 21:48 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Linus, did he skip grades?<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
Tritonal, we homeschooled him up through 8th grade, and in 7th grade he did a complete Bob Jones curriculum between Sept. and Jan., then did a complete 8th grade curriculum between Jan. and July, when we moved from Goergia to Massachusetts. In Mass, its very burdensome to homeschool, soi we had to put our kids in public school. We simply took Joshua to the local High School and enrolled him in 9th grade! He didn't "skip" a grade, he just did 2 grades in 1 year.

Sgtgoose, I'm sorry to hear about your neice. I think your sis and BIL's first mistake was letting boyfriend #1 move in. Laura tried that with us last summer. . ."Kevin's dad kicked him out, can he sleep in the garage?" The answer was "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!"

The other thing (can hardly call him a man, now can we?) that slammed your grandnephew (if I read it right, that is his relation to you?) wel, all I can say about that waste of human flesh is I'd like 5 minutes alone with the thing. Anyone who would do such a thing is beneath contempt, that are roitten little subhuman bugs who need to be exterminated with extreme prejudice like the miserable vermin they are.

I will add your sister and neice and grandnephew to my prayer list.

“With reasonable men, I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.”

William Lloyd Garrison, 1805-1879


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PostPosted: 29 Jan 2005, 22:56 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> Tritonal, we homeschooled him up through 8th grade, and in 7th grade he did a complete Bob Jones curriculum between Sept. and Jan., then did a complete 8th grade curriculum between Jan. and July, when we moved from Goergia to Massachusetts. In Mass, its very burdensome to homeschool, soi we had to put our kids in public school. We simply took Joshua to the local High School and enrolled him in 9th grade! He didn't "skip" a grade, he just did 2 grades in 1 year.<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Now looking back Linus, do you think it was a good idea?
If the ed system keeps this up when I have a kid, I'm home schooling them.
Mudd, I just can't see your 'rents home schooling your crazy self.<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>


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PostPosted: 30 Jan 2005, 05:36 
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I was raised in the Four Corners Indian Reservation. Monument Valley Area. WE didnt have a Public school, We had a Combined Tribe/Catholic School. BY the time i hit 14 My Father Moved us Northern Utah and On my Equivelency testing I was placed into a Junior Year. Let me tell you it was a eye opening experiance Going from, a Very Rigid Education system to a public School. I had enough Creditss to graduate at 15. Most of the way through my senior Year. However it wasnt until Having the last of many knock down drag out fights with my father and me Beaten feet most of the time, But my senior year i was living with my Bishop. Once i was sent home from my latest sneak away escapade at Boston College ( I forged my entrance papers) The dean cought on to it for the fact that my age, and physical appearance stood out and I wasnt doing to bad, But again i was a minor, and some of the forging i dicked up in a big way, mainly the socail security number (had no clue what that was) Living in the Bar District Going to school. One thing lead to another, He busted my Chops got the truth, and i was on a greyhound home. Which entered the next Series of Fist Fights with my Dad. My father wanted me to help at the ranch, and i Had ambition to make a life for myself. To put the end to that the State Got involved and My Hopes of the service academy was dashed, again i forged documents went through the process and was accepted, then declined becasue of the new legal battle to seperate my self from my father so that I could legally achieve my dreams.

I have since made ammends with him. And Legally Changed my name a Few years ago to Reflect my grandfathers Name. But the case in point was that i was fighting for my life. Working hard was the one thing my father passed onto me, and that was also my greatest threat towards him. I had capability to control my life and i was succesful at it. What he was trying to raise was a ranch hand the way he was raised.

"...some people will find any reason to complain. there's no pleasing some people. fuck it. living life makes more sense than thinking life. fuck it all and fucking no regrets. get over it. life moves on"


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PostPosted: 30 Jan 2005, 09:49 
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Mudd, that was an interesting share.

Since you delved a little about your experience, I'll do the same.

<i>...Working hard was the one thing my father passed onto me, and that was also my greatest threat towards him...</i>

My pops was the complete opposite: If it was too hard, then give up. It was the "lazy man's approach" and he lost alot in life, BIG TIME; the house was full of chaos.

Since the father-figure's role is the leader of the household, it was lead by example; my sibs followed forth and got into some big trouble.
One of them says he'd probably be dead if it wasn't for his attitude reversal. Both of their "reversals" came complimentary from the United States Army and thank God for it.
As of right now, I have to keep my distance from him. I will have nothing to do with a person that knows full-well he has a problem and makes every excuse in the world to avoid making it better.

I have no "daddy issues" and will go forth and attempt to accomplish whatever I was put on this earth to do, even though roadblocks will arise. If a person keeps harping on their fractured past, it will just suffocate them in their present and drown them from their future.

When the time comes for me to have a family, I will know what <i>not</i> to do as I have seen by example.


*As for your schooling, was it the Jesuit Priests who taught you?








Edited by - tritonal on Jan 30 2005 09:22 AM


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PostPosted: 30 Jan 2005, 13:30 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>Now looking back Linus, do you think it was a good idea?<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>
Yes. Joshua is a good man. He's 22 now, has a beautiful wife and a 1 1/2 yr old son, owns his own towing business. He's doing very well.

“With reasonable men, I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.”

William Lloyd Garrison, 1805-1879


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