WT Forums

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A: His body.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

or

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
A: To knock the penises off the smart ones.

Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women . .
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"


"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

ok, but only today... international woman´s day isn´t it?

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

_________________
\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"

10 out of 10 to Homer...

I wondered if anybody would notice that today we have to respect those of a softer nature.

Doesn't that means Liberals..?

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

hmmmmm, ok, but you know there are these other jokes, too....
ok, some are really old, but we have to keep the balance here!



Q: Why do women fake orgasms?

A: They think we care.


This guy bursts into his house and shouts, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!"
She says, "That's wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care-just get the hell out!"


Have you heard about the new Barbie doll?
It's called Divorce Barbie. It comes with all Ken's stuff.

Two men were in a pub. One man said, "Did you know that beer contains female hormones?"
The other man said, "No! Is it true?"
"Yes, " said the first man. "If you drink too much, you start talking crap and you drive terribly."

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.


The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman


#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for
when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a
backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of
ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look
fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you
use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.


A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50," the clerk says. "$50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog."

"Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs."

The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value. The husband is skeptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be
bothered by her husband that night.

She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.

"What are you two doing down here?" she asks. Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"






"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

_________________
\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"

LOL

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Hey, what have you got against 44's..?

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

U two cats make WT Fun, amongst the sea of lame Bozo's that hit this place. <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"RickUSN-

That was intelligent and useful Mudd.

But it certainly is what Ive come to expect.

Mindless babbling with no intent to either enlighten or inform.

Thanks Mudd,

Do you mind if I have that engraved on my headstone when I come round to needing one...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

...that would be a nice sig, too...!<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

And, hehe, I don´t have anything against .44, as long as it is not shot at me...
<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/tard.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

_________________
\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"

You've got no worries Homer,

I could shoot at you all day and not hit you.

The only folk in any danger would be those to the left of you, the right of you, above and below and possibly some folk in Poland.

My aim was never up too much...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

ok, we started with feminists or something like that and this is the end.

a little help for your next target practice <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

IMAGE EDITED BECAUSE NUDITY IS VERBOTTEN AT WT.

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

_________________
\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>I could shoot at you all day and not hit you.

The only folk in any danger would be those to the left of you, the right of you, above and below and possibly some folk in Poland.

My aim was never up too much... <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

You know, i heard that lots of practice with shooter video games can help this! <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Courage is knowing what not to fear."
~Plato~

_________________
\"I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives\"

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>


IMAGE EDITED BECAUSE NUDITY IS VERBOTTEN AT WT.



<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Sorry Snipe.
Couldnt resist posting it...

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."

_________________
\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"

Nice one Homer...

The new 'cleaner' WT lasted all of 35 seconds before you blew it out of the water...

<img src=newicons/bounce.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_bannana.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

Who want's to contribute to the bounty on Homers head..?

LOL...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> You know, i heard that lots of practice with shooter video games can help this!<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

RaceGal,

I'll have you know I can waggle my joystick with the best of them...

I used to enjoy a quick blast on Time Crisis 2 on the PS2 with the old light gun. It was supprisingly good fun especially after a few beers (the one advantage of mixing video games and alcohol. It's far safer than mixing guns and alcohol)

But then I went and bought a new shiny 100hz Sony TV which the old light gun doesn't work with.

So that sucks...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
LOL

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

Hey, what have you got against 44's..?

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

It was a play on age. It was saying you can't trade your 44 year old wife for two 22 year olds

"The worst football halftime show is still better than a soccer game." - Ron "Tater Salad" White.

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
Nice one Homer...

The new 'cleaner' WT lasted all of 35 seconds before you blew it out of the water...

<img src=newicons/bounce.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_bannana.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

Who want's to contribute to the bounty on Homers head..?

LOL...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

New and clean enough to allow "Steak and BJ Day" to slip under the radar? As opposed a to Steak and ** day reference on W.A.B.

"Brave martyr dove off a roof and tried to bring down an A-10 by getting juiced in the right engine"

_________________

Steak and BJ is still A OK.

<b>"You got me all wrong Mudd...i don't like anyone.</b><img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle>"
<img src="http://worldaffairsboard.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=862&stc=1" border=0>

Pity a poor Brit, but WTF "Steak and BJ"..?

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

uahahaoahoaoh i forgot: Warning warning warning
dont follow this link if you are offended by steaks or bjs...

http://www.steakandbjday.com/

... I had to think about it for a few seconds too, 44...
remember the frog? the frog which is trained for BJ´s?<img src=newicons/idea.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Did you know? You can use your old motor oil to fertilize your lawn! -- Environmental Protection Agency."


Edited by - homer32 on Mar 09 2005 11:46 AM

_________________
\"My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.\"