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It's time to announce the winners of the annual "Stella Awards", named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners.

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner:

This year's run away winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motorhome. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.



"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
It's time to announce the winners of the annual "Stella Awards", named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners.

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner:

This year's run away winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motorhome. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.



"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."
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If Amber Carson had won I could of delivered the award personally, and read aloud a congrats speech written by Mr. Mudd. <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"Brave martyr dove off a roof and tried to bring down an A-10 by getting juiced in the right engine"

_________________

Someone needs to check snopes. This is a fake. By the way I went to basic in 1982 and heard an incredible story of a foriegn exchange pilot that thought cruise control in his conversion van was the same thing as auto pilot. This meant he could go to the fridge and mix a drink. Needless to say, as the story goes anyway, he crashed and sued. Sound familar? It should, it's just as fake as the winabago story and lacks originality only its 20 plus years older.

Fender
"A woman drove me to drink
and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her".
W.C. Fields

Strat,

I know most of these stories I re-post are BS of the highest order.

They get sent to me by the guys in IT that strip unsuitable content out of corporate email accounts.

Anybody with some common sense will realise they smell wrong without needing to go to snopes to check.

But they are funny and make me laugh in the same way that any other comedy does. I treat them more as joke than articles.

If something is, as far as I'm concerned true, I'll normally say so at the top of the post.

If my posting of this sort of crap is getting on folks nerves I'll back off.

But I've alway operated on the assumption that if it makes me laugh, it'll make some of the sad puppies on this board laugh as well.

BTW, if you guys know what a kebab is, I can post a true story that'll make you all wet yourselves...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

Edited by - 44hollowpoint on Mar 21 2005 12:41 AM

Its all good .44.

Fender
"A woman drove me to drink
and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her".
W.C. Fields

I believe every word of it, .44, no matter what Snopes or Fender have to say about it...<b><i>EVERY WORD!</i></b> <img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle>

Dammit, Snipe, you are <i>not</i> talking your way out of this one; the kids caught you fair and square, so grant them their three wishes and hand over your pot of gold!

LOL, Fender is our authenticator.

<b>"You got me all wrong Mudd...i don't like anyone.</b><img src=newicons/saevil.gif border=0 align=middle>"
<img src="http://worldaffairsboard.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=862&stc=1" border=0>

I wanna hear the kebab story!!! I wanna hear the kebab story!!! I wanna hear the kebab story!!!

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

I'll tell the kebab story when I'm sure a decent lot of you know what one is.

When I worked with a bunch of Canadians it took three hours of explanation and a team building trip to the local kebab house to get them to understand.

And the story is true, I was there when he bought it and I took the call from him the next morning...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

Know what a kebab is: Check!

"What's this? Someone who checked out The Battle Of Mogadishu before me used bubblegum as a book mark!"

_________________

Yep. Kebab's. Those are the over-sized squirrels that live at the north rim of the Grand Canyon!

<img src="http://a1410.g.akamai.net/f/1410/1633/7d/216.109.89.105/mammals/mammals_l/MA0191_1l.jpg" border=0>

Dammit, Snipe, you are <i>not</i> talking your way out of this one; the kids caught you fair and square, so grant them their three wishes and hand over your pot of gold!

Well, youc an eat one of those things on a kebab...

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI

Right you asked for it,

Watch out for a new thread...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."

Kebab=Swarma, for those of you that have been to both the UK and SWA.

Fender
"A woman drove me to drink
and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her".
W.C. Fields

Swarma, also known as Shuwarma, a local (Middle Eastern) food usually involving lamb's meat being put on a spit, tilted sideways and being grilled in a round oven. Quite tasty with Hummus...

<img src="http://www.vatsaas.org/rtv/arsenal/bradrocs/napkin/shawarma.jpg" border=0>

"Retreat, hell! We just got here!"-Captain Lloyd Williams, 2nd Marine Division, Belleau Wood, France, WWI