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Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?
Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
The Second Amendment: America's original homeland security.
Ya just can’t take life too seriously, because you aren’t going to get out of it alive anyway.
_________________
\"Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.\"
- Thomas Jefferson
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