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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Apr 2005, 13:46 
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 18:31
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<i>Subject: income tax



Just about the only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your wang.



This is due to the fact that 70% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 13% of the time it is pissed off, 12% of the time it is hard up, and 5% of the time it is in the hole. It has two dependents, but they're nuts.



Issues still under consideration are as follows:



Are there penalties for early withdrawal?

Do multiple partners count as a corporation?

Are condoms deductible as work clothes?



Effective January 1, 2005, penises will be taxed according to size.



The brackets are as follows:

10" - 12" Luxury Tax

8" - 9" Pole Tax

6" - 7" Privilege Tax

4" - 5" Nuisance Tax



Note: Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.



Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.



PLEASE DO NOT FILE FOR AN EXTENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(And please do not let me know which tax bracket you are in :-) You are all in LUXURY ONE, RIGHT?........................... lol... yeah right
</i>



Edited by - Tritonal-05 on Apr 15 2005 12:47 PM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Apr 2005, 16:42 
LOLOLOL!!!

<i><b>"US Snipers...providing surgical strikes since 1776"</b></i>
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Apr 2005, 19:19 
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Location: Still fighting the indians in Western Massachusetts
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By this time tomorrow I shall have gained either a pearage or Westminster Abbey........Nelson

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 16 Apr 2005, 08:33 
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guess tritonal is getting a tax credit to bring him up to the mean small size.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 16 Apr 2005, 09:31 
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Judging by his recent performance I was thinking he was more in line with the capital gains portion of the tax code.

"face it....perhaps your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 13:32 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 14:00 
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that would imply that he had growth with the pump. Rascal we need an audit.<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 15:42 
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Not so fast Mattlott, I have it on good word that you qualified this year under the Luxury tax...



...by claiming yourself 6x's under the Nuisance Tax.

<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_bannana.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/bounce.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_bannana.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>







Edited by - Jo Schmuckatelli on Apr 17 2005 3:20 PM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 16:25 
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lol

Na Rascal I believe would give a fair, impartial, audit with pentialties for miss information. understand her audit tools are thick rubber gloves, tweezers, 10x mignifying glass, and if all else fails an electron microscope. she is equippeed for the job.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 16:31 
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HEHEHehh...

Dont' mind Schmuckatelli, Matt.
He's all mad because one day he accidentally sprained his ankle as he tripped over my manhood while I was showing it to a couple of college girls in the back of a "Popeye's" for extra beer money...

It took a crew of 2 to lift it off his leg.

<img src=newicons/anim_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 19:28 
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"He's all mad because"

Stopped taking your drugs for the multiple personalities trite?

"face it....perhaps your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Apr 2005, 19:32 
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trit I would imagin to trip over it it had to be flaccid as a noodle. Size is great but only if it is a working tool. lol <img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 05:23 
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cool im under poll tax and you lot seriously need to get a life

the object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 08:06 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
cool im under poll tax and you lot seriously need to get a life

<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

and you think WE need to get a life..........<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"face it....perhaps your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 08:13 
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I had a word with my accountant and he advised me to be tax assesed on a very cold day.

He reckons I'd be due a rebate, and once it warms up, normal service can be resumed...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 09:33 
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Joined: 11 Dec 2002, 10:13
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<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>

"face it....perhaps your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:03 
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As a result of a drunken bet (how many stories start like that...) I once swan across an outdoor pool in the middle of winter.

I had the break the ice to get in and go through it like some Ruski ice breaker.

Anyhow, when I got out the other side I was so cold I discovered to my horror that I had two belly buttons...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:08 
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 18:31
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<i>Anyhow, when I got out the other side I was so cold I discovered to my horror that I had two belly buttons...</i>

In addition to a very cold manhood...
<img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>


Edited by - Tritonal-05 on Apr 18 2005 09:14 AM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:11 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>In addition to a very cold manhood...
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

That WAS the second belly button...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:15 
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 18:31
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It could of also been your third nipple. <img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>


44, better to be half in the bottle an act like a polar bear than to get overly intimate with a Greek sandwich!<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>
<img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=newicons/anim_lol.gif border=0 align=middle>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:17 
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<i>trit I would imagin to trip over it it had to be flaccid as a noodle...</i>

better that than have it normal size and risk accidentaly overturning an SUV.

Safety first, my friend <img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:17 
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Joined: 03 Jun 2003, 06:24
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LOL, I'll agree with you on that one...


"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:23 
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 18:31
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Speaking of the weather, how is it in England?

I bet it's raining, followed by a nice relief of light showers and ending the day with more rain... and fog.

Edited by - Tritonal-05 on Apr 18 2005 09:25 AM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:30 
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<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>I bet it's raining, followed by a nice relief of light showers and ending the day with more rain... and fog <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

LOL - That's Scotland you're talking about.

Nope the Cotswold's are currently enjoying:

12 deg C
a light easterly that's making it feel a little cold
80% blue sky
cloud base at approx 3,000ft.

Makes it the perfect kind of weather for watching the Tornado GR4's flying over the house.

Three in the last hour...

"A .44 magnum beats 4 Aces everytime..."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 18 Apr 2005, 10:35 
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 18:31
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<i>Makes it the perfect kind of weather for watching the Tornado GR4's flying over the house.

Three in the last hour...
</i>

Seriously, That's AWESOME!!
How low are they?


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